Have a "Courageous Conversation" With Friends and Family this Thanksgiving

Via Marta Evry, Courage Campaign — I want to tell you about a heartfelt conversation I recently had with a family member who opposed marriage equality. I hope it will motivate you to have one of your own with someone you care about this holiday season.

I'm a straight ally, a community organizer, and a volunteer photographer for Camp Courage. As I learned at Camp Courage, the best way to build momentum for marriage equality is by having personal conversations. And there is no better time to do that than during the holidays, when we gather with our friends, family and neighbors.

How do I know? I helped my mother-in-law open her mind to marriage equality by having my own "Courageous Conversation" with her earlier this year.

Elinor, my mother-in-law, voted for Proposition 8. It was really hard for me to talk with her about her decision. I felt like we were going in circles -- she thought gay marriage was "wrong" and a threat to "traditional" marriage -- and there was nothing I could say to her to change her mind. But one day I had an idea.

I opened up my photo album. See, I've taken thousands of photographs of marriage equality activists at Camp Courage trainings and other events since Prop 8 passed.

So I asked Elinor to look at the people in these photos. I told her how I recognized the love in their eyes and their hearts because I saw it in myself and in my husband. I told her that I look at the man I married 13 years ago -- her son -- and think about all we've shared and done, suffered and celebrated. I told her I can't imagine a world in which their love isn't equal to ours in the eyes of the law.

The conversation that followed was the most open one we'd ever had about gay marriage. I don't think I've changed her mind -- yet. But I do know we aren't talking in circles anymore, and that the door is open to many more conversations to come.

It took courage to have that conversation. But that is how we will win marriage equality -- by being courageous.

Will you pledge to have a "Courageous Conversation" like this with a friend or family member during the holidays? Just click here to take the pledge and we'll add it to our live interactive map of conversations just like yours happening across the country. (Optional: If you have an LGBT friend or family member, we'll send them an online card celebrating this conversation -- your gift to equality):

Sometimes the most courageous act is a simple conversation with someone you love. I know these conversations are not easy. But that is why they are so important. Our research shows that the most effective way to change someone's opinion about marriage equality is to have someone they know discuss why it matters so much.

We'll help you make these conversations a success. We will offer support and advice about where and when to start the conversation. We'll also help you tell your "story-of-self" with a guide on our website.

And we'll let you turn your "Courageous Conversation" into a gift -- we'll send an online card to an LGBT friend or family member of your choice, letting them know that for this holiday season, you will pledge to help win equality for them by having a "Courageous Conversation." Click here to get started:

One "Courageous Conversation" at a time we can change the hearts and minds of our friends and loved ones. Thank you for giving the gift of equality.

Marta Evry
Community Organizer and Camp Courage volunteer photographer