NOM Specific Marriage Equality Talking Points

National Organization for Marriage (NOM) is behind virtually all efforts to ban same-sex marriage. They were instrumental in the passage of Proposition 8 in California. They seek to overturn marriage equality in those states that recognize same-sex marriage. They are the major force behind efforts in Maine to overturn Maine's recent marriage recognition law. They recently tried (and failed) to influence an Iowa House special election with considerable financial support to their candidate who opposes marriage equality. NOM is vigorously trying to prevent marriage equality in other states.They have formed political action committees in New York, New Jersey and other states and recently held a rally in Rhode Island.

The following seeks to address some of the issues. National Organization for Marriage expends considerable sums on political spin doctors. One of these (CRC Public Relations) created the 2004 "Swift Boat" campaign against John Kerry. This resulted in tarring a true war hero to the advantage of George Bush who never left Texas. NOM has created a similarly false and irresponsible campaign to ban same-sex marriage.

Marriage equality celebrates the American tradition of fairness which is one of our society's core values. It affects a small group of taxpaying citizens who deserve equal protection under the law. This fairness to a minority is not a detriment to anyone else.

On their website, NOM states the following:

Extensive and repeated polling agrees that the single most effective message is:

"Gays and Lesbians have a right to live as they choose, they don’t have the right to redefine marriage for all of us."

This allows people to express support for tolerance while opposing gay marriage. Some modify it to “People have a right to live as they choose, they don’t have the right to redefine marriage for all of us.”

Language to avoid at all costs: "Ban same-sex marriage." Our base loves this wording. So do supporters of SSM. They know it causes us to lose about ten percentage points in polls. Don’t use it. Say we’re against “redefining marriage” or in favor or “marriage as the union of husband and wife” NEVER “banning same-sex marriage.”

Regardless of the spin worthy of Karl Rove, in point of fact NOM does want to ban same-sex marriage. They admit that they are skewing their message to obscure the truth.

Marriage equality does not redefine marriage. Regardless of whether or not same-sex marriage is recognized, the same heterosexual couples will marry, divorce, have children or choose not to have children. Indeed, Massachusetts had the lowest divorce rate in the US before same-sex marriages were recognized and continues to have the lowest divorce rate in the US five years later.

NOM has a religious agenda. NOM's seed money was provided by religious organizations. NOM is paid by religious organizations to effect a ban of same-sex marriage. These include Focus on the Family, the Catholic Church and the Knights of Columbus. NOM is believed to be a front group for the Mormon Church and Opus Dei.

Marriage equality advocates respect religious beliefs. We believe that people have an absolute right to oppose same-sex marriage. Opposing same-sex marriage should not mean imposing religious beliefs on anyone else. For example, orthodox Jews oppose the consumption of certain foods such as pork and shellfish. They do not seek to impose those dietary laws on everyone else. The notion that marriage equality poses a threat to religious freedom is baseless fear mongering.

Marriage equality does not pose a danger to children. That is hyperbole crafted to make people fearful. NOM would like you to believe that marriage equality could encourage children to become gay. Children already know that many gay couples have long term monogamous relationships. They know that, in some states, they legally marry. Quoting Ronald Reagan:

Whatever else it is, homosexuality is not a contagious disease like the measles. Prevailing scientific opinion is that an individual's sexuality is determined at a very early age and that a child's teachers do not really influence this.

Over the last two years, NOM has spent tens of millions of dollars to promote their message. Yet, they have never been able to formulate a single coherent  argument that supports the idea that one couple's same-sex marriage has any effect whatsoever on any other couple's "traditional" marriage. In fact, their inability to do so only confirms the fact that there is no effect.