
The Boiled Frog Blog
Boil a frog slowly and it fails to appreciate its own peril.
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NOM Takes on Tips-Q
In their Friday email blast, National Organization for Marriage is a tad upset with us.
I know many bystanders read my letter to you each week, and that includes the gay press. This week Tips-Q.com GLBT News Service headlined a piece by David Hart called “NOM Continues to Demonize Tim Gill.” Well if by “demonize” you mean, point out the way one, rich, powerful gay Colorado billionaire is pushing politicians to ignore their constituents and pay attention to Tim’s priorities instead, yes we are going to continue to call people’s attention to Tim Gill’s agenda!
Nice try but that doesn't address the issue. Moreover, it states opinion as fact. The point is that Tim Gill's advocacy is completely transparent. He is entitled to invest his funds (earned through ingenuity and hard work) as he see fit. The Gill foundation's (501(c)3) tax returns are readily available as are those of The Gill Action Fund (501(c)4). Every grant and donation by both organizations is listed in their respective returns. A great many, by the way, are not LGBT related. We know where the money came from and we know where it is all going. Moreover, there is no tax ambiguity. The foundation provides grants only to charities while the Action Fund donates to other political organizations.
Contrast that with NOM. We have no idea where the money is coming from. The most that Gallagher has offered is that initial funding came from "religious institutions." Unlike Gill, NOM is profiting from tax ambiguity. Funds donated to religious organizations are tax deductible. Funds donated to political organizations like NOM are not tax deductible. When funds provided to a church are redirected to NOM, the contributor gets a tax deduction that they would not get if they donated the funds directly to NOM. In summary, unknown religious organizations are donating unknown sums of money to a political organization, acting as conduits for preferential tax treatment. Furthermore, NOM has not yet filed a tax return that we know of and they have not disclosed any financial information. Therefore, the contributions from unknown donors in unknown amounts are being spent in unknown ways. Nevertheless, NOM claims to be a grass roots organization. Can you say astroturf?
NOM goes on to say:
The most telling thing, though, in David Hart’s piece critiquing my last letter to you, was his response to this statement I made:
And Maggie also reminds me one reason I fight so hard: "If we continue to fail to do so, our political opponents will use their cultural power to create an America in which traditional religious groups are redefined by the government as the moral and legal equivalent of racists."
David’s reaction? "I have a simple suggestion for them; Don't act like racists and you won't be treated like racists."
It's hard to believe that we could wake up in an America and find our faith communities have been redefined by the government as racist threats to America. I mean, how can an idea like "Marriage is the union of husband and wife" be treated as the legal equivalent of racism? Reluctantly, I’ve come to accept that people like David are quite serious about using the law to impose their view of morality on the rest of us.
An example of "turnspeak." We are using the law to impose our morality? Utter nonsense. In point of fact, gays do not enjoy equal protection under law. I have yet to entertain a coherent argument that supports the notion that one couple's same-sex marriage has any effect on any other couple's "traditional" marriage. I have also pointed out that many of NOM's arguments require one to embrace the idea that marriage is "zero sum." In other words, that people who enter into a same-sex marriage subtract from the number of traditional marriages. Obviously, that is rubbish.
Either way, we are unique winners or losers in the battle for marriage equality. As we achieve equality, it has no effect on anyone else. If we lose marriage equality battles it does not benefit anyone. The only winners, either way, are organizations like NOM. NOM collects donations and pays out a portion of those as salaries and benefits. I continue to argue that the primary purpose of NOM is to provide an income and benefits to Maggie Gallagher. It is a business — a tax exempt political consultancy.

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Well David, here is an argument...Same sex marriage is bad for society. Kids do much better raised in a home with a mother and a father. It takes both sexes to give a child a healthy home environment. There is a boatload of studies that validate this claim. The few studies addressing kids raised in same sex household do not have enough data to draw a conclusion. Now if you wee to claim divorce is worse detriment to healthy kids....I would agree. Divorce is devastating to a functioning society. If you were to advocate outlawing no-fault divorce I would be happy to join you in this effort. There is no way around the fact that kids need a mother and a father.
What does same-sex marriage have to do with adoption? Almost a million children are already being raised by same-sex couples in all 50 states. Marriage can only provide greater stability for these children if a partner dies or becomes ill.
There are many studies from many countries confirming that children raised by same-sex couples do as well as those raised by heterosexual couples.
In terms of divorce, I doubt that gay couples could do worse. MA had the lowest divorce rate in the country before same-sex marriage, MA has the lowest divorce rate in the country since same-sex marriage.
Well JM, I'm sorry to point out that you're sadly mistaken. The evidence suggests that a loving two parent household is the best for raising children, regardless of sex. Of course this is not my area of expertise as I do not have a medical degree nor a PhD in a related field (mine is in biochemistry). However I trust the opinion of the countless medical agencies which support gay marriage/adoption specifically because they've shown children raised by gay parents do just as well. If however you have some new evidence that withstands peer review I would be more than happy to pass it along to the American Associations of Pediatricians, Pyschologists, Social Workers, Educators...the American Medical Association supports gay parenting...honestly the studies have existed for over 25 years now, and the result is a resounding yes on gay marriage/adoption by nearly any medical group or nearly any secular group that deals with helping children.
So again, same-sex marriage is not bad for society. Divorce, illegitimate births, abuse are all bad for society, so I ask, where is the public outcry to ban these societal horrors? These problems have actually been proven to affect the normal growth and development of children and yet they go by unnoticed because gay marriage is somehow more abhorrent than all of those combined. Why is this the case? There is no formal debate among the experts in childcare and child development to suggest the effects of gay marriage are unknown. I repeat, studies have been done for over 25 years that conclusively support the children raised by gay couples function equally to children raised by heterosexual parents.
If you claim to have society's interest at heart, please recognize that children need loving parents, and that gay parents have been proven to be equally effective as heterosexual couples. So while you're correct that children function best with two parents, you're incorrect in thinking that gender matters.
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